Click here to go on to next month.
Note 2: Koen Book Distributors has picked up my book, so if you want to buy a copy from a bookstore rather than over the net, it may help to give the bookstore Koen's name to speed up the process.
Note 3: Many additions to the web pages today -- I spent about 3-4 hours working on them. Too many to list -- just wander through.
Instead of a regular journal entry, I thought I'd give you a sample of some of the other stuff I write -- this one is part of an ongoing discussion on the alt.polyamory newsgroup.
In article (E69pn6.By4@world.std.com), bearpaw (bearpaw@world.std.com) wrote:
>Rights always carry responsibilities, however often that's
overlooked.
>My take would be, yes, someone who "incited" violence is in a sense
>"responsible" for it, though they are not "as responsible" as the
>assholes wielding the bats. They are certainly *ethically*
responsible,
>whether they can be held *legally* responsible is a much messier
>question. (I think they *should* be held legally responsible, I'm
>just not sure how that's best done. The connection between the
>victim and the asshole with the bat is a lot easier to show than the
>connection between the victim and the asshole with the voice.)
So here's a question for you -- what about someone who says or writes something that could be construed as advocating Something Bad (tm), but who had had no intentions of advocating said Bad Thing, and in fact, didn't even consider the possibility?
And how does ethical responsibility apply to fiction/art?
This is wandering a bit far afield, but recently this question was brought home to me very sharply when one of my readers told me that he felt one of my stories was glorifying killing in a sexual sense. That wasn't at all what I intended, and I still don't really think the story says that, but looking back at it, I can certainly see how it can be read that way.
Am I responsible if someone goes out and gets into snuff because they got all turned on by my story? Are writers/artists generally responsible for what people read into their work?
Details of story and critique at:
http://www.mamohanraj.com/Stories/diana.html
http://www.mamohanraj.com/Stories/dianacrit.html
- Mary Anne
I realized that I haven't been talking much lately about what I've been reading. That's partly because I've mostly been reading things for class, such as the Faulkner, which has taken up a lot of my time. I did also recently pick up a copy of Lynn Flewelling's next book in the Nightrunner series, Stalking Darkness. Liked it a lot -- fun series. Fantasy series need fewer lords and more thieves, in my opinion, and Flewelling does thieves well. Also started rereading the Dragonlance Chronicles in a fit of desperation (couldn't find anything else I hadn't read in the house (at least nothing I wanted to read) -- it's been something like ten years. They're entertaining, but I don't know if I'll bother finishing the series again -- there's a reason I haven't looked at them in ten years. I'm about to start on Ellison's Invisible Man -- I'll let you guys know how that goes.
Not really much more to report. Work work work -- and the funny thing is, I enjoy it. I'm going to turn into a compulsive workaholic like my mother, I can tell. :-)
Argh, and I'm procrastinating again simply by sitting here and writing to you guys instead of working. Enough. Back to it.
Highlights of the weekend: Had a birthday party for Ian Friday night -- that's three parties in three weeks and I think we're all a little partied out. Was much fun, though, and got to meet many of his high school friends (of which Sherman is one, of course). My friend Adam arrived from out of town (he's moving to the area (anyone need a Mac/Unix debugger?)) and we dragged him to Gaskell's Winter Ball Saturday. Still exhausted from hours of polkas and waltzes and shaddisches (sp?) but great fun, especially the costuming (me in straight wine-colored formal gown, Sherman in white ruffled shirt, top hat, gloves, spats, etc., Ian in dress uniform, Elle in peach gown with hoop skirts, Cliff in white tuxedo, Kirsten in royal blue gown with acres of crinolines and Adam in formal kilt -- and we weren't even closed to being the dressiest people there :-).
Sunday was moderately relaxing with a potluck and chatting -- got to have dinner with Joani Blank, the woman who started Good Vibrations -- very interesting! Ate at the Blue Nile up in Berkeley -- good Ethiopian, but I still think the one on Haight is my favorite -- I'm just fond of it.
Today mostly took the day off; drove down to introduce Adam to Lydia and keep him company with some job thingies in the South Bay. While we were visiting Lydia, her kids' school called that Kaylie wasn't feeling well. Since Lydia was busy, Adam and I ended up picking the poor kid up -- she looked pretty wasted, but I think she'll be fine. Apparently they had a really busy weekend too, and she was just dead tired. Poor munchkin!
Lots of work to do before I leave Thursday night -- will update this as much as I can. On the plus side, Adam is helping me install PPP at home, which means I can run Netscape now from home, which means I can do more of my work from here -- hooray! Best go make dinner now -- just pasta tonight -- cooking dinner for nine on Saturday (oh, forgot to describe Chelsea in black velvet and Jeremy in suit) burned out my cooking urges for a bit. :-)
Take care, guys.
Just got out of my American Fiction class -- really enjoying this class. Great teacher -- very bright and knowledgeable, with an adorable British accent. He really loves this era and it's contagious. We're deep into Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury now, and while I'm still having to trudge along in bits, I am getting the hang of the book now (about halfway through, having read Benjy's and Quentin's sections), and it's becoming much more fun to read. I had a lot of trouble with Quentin's section at first -- it was early yesterday morning that I was trying to read it, and I kept falling asleep. Finally let myself sleep for a couple of hours and then had no trouble finishing it, so maybe I was just tired. :-) Anyway, looking forward to the rest of the discussions. I'm afraid I'm going to miss some of the discussion of Ellison while I'm in Chicago -- I'm happy to be going, of course, but it's rather a novel thing to be distressed about missing classes. :-) Grad school at its best, I suppose. Still, at least I can discuss it all with Kevin -- he's fond of both Faulkner and Ellison, so he should be helpful.
Hmmm...not much more to say -- lots of work, of course. Kind of sleepy, 'cause Karina and I had dinner at Thida's last night, and ended up staying up talking till 1:00 or so. Almost slept through class this morning! My alarm clock is packed away in a box somewhere 'cause it's big and bulky and ugly and I didn't think I really needed it, since I usually wake up at 7 a.m. anyway...still, I may have to dig it out, just for situations like this one.
Well, talk to you guys later -- have a good week!
1:15 -- Just wanted to let you know about another diary listing:
Intimacy.
COME FOR THE BIG CITY
sunset and wrenching gut muscles tell me
it is time. final exam. the beginning.
i thought it would be quick or small or even kind.
more than one had had it so, so why not me?
none of the above.
afterwards, the mistress says enough,
she's had enough for tonight --
you can have her again tomorrow if you want
half the cost since she won't be fresh --
no thanks.
afterwards, the girls cluster 'round
offering warm wet cloth and hard arms;
been there, done that, not so bad, was it,
little country sister? and the rest of the night off!
relax. the first one is always the worst, they lie.
i cannot stop shaking.
*****
Got another assignment from Sizzle, which I'll try to do in the next
couple of days. Read some of the Faulkner, but quite a ways to go -- not
an easy read! Mainly I have to do the Agnes Grey remake by 2:30, so
instead of writing more in this journal, I should probably go do that.
Had a pretty good weekend and end of week. Am progressing on the
recorder, with is very satisfying -- I really enjoy the
medieval/renaissance/baroque music we're looking at. I still have
three-four more fingerings to master before I can even play the basic
stuff competently, but with patience. It's interesting to find that I
have a *lot* more discipline for this sort of thing than I used to as a
kid, practicing the piano. I remember I used to read a book while doing
scales -- hardly the best way to pracice. I don't advise it -- my poor
mother.
Weekend was pleasant in some ways -- had fun at a potluck and at the
Hooker's Bazaar in San Francisco, and I spent many hours talking to
friends. However, the reason I spent many hours talking to friends is
that two of my friends have recently been dumped. :( They're not doing
too well...wish I could be more helpful. There's never any good advice
you can really give -- all I can do is try to be there for them so they
don't feel quite so alone. Major bummer.
Finally got that Sizzle story written (two of them, actually). Thank god
-- don't know why I was procrastinating so badly on that one. And with
the help of a few friends, sketched out a plot outline for the space
opera. Projects for this week -- write a few chapters of that, read
The Sound and the Fury, write a chapter in the collaborative
novel for my fiction class (the reworking of Agnes Grey), try to
get another chapter written of Dreams, a poem for tomorrow (and a lot of
critique), get ready for the party Friday.
Bought my plane tickets for Chicago -- hooray!!! (God, I miss Kev. I try
not to think about it too much -- but it's like trying not to breathe --
too automatic to prevent, even if you wanted to. Sigh....okay, enough
complaining.) Here's an early warning that I'll be gone from the 28th to
the 10th of March. May get to do some entries in Chicago -- may not.
Hard to predict.
Going to go make dinner -- "Impossible Cheeseburger Pie", according to the
Bisquick box. :-) I'm using ground turkey instead of ground beef -- it'll
be interesting to see how that changes the recipe. Usually works fine as
a substitute (in meatloaf, for example), but occasionally I've run across
recipes where it totally doesn't work (generally 'cause the turkey isn't
glutinous enough -- doesn't hold a shape very well).
Hope you guys had a better weekend than my friends did. :(
Today (after class), I must write the Sizzle piece. If I do anything
else, I am being very bad and must be admonished. Well, that plus
breakfast.
Went contra dancing last night with some friends (Patti, Iver, Jim) and
had a lot of fun. I am *so* out of shape, though -- I sat out about half
the dances 'cause I just got exhausted. Still, they're talking about
dragging me along more regularly, so I hopefully will be able to build up
my endurance a bit. I can certainly use the exercise -- sitting in fron t
of a computer is hardly good for me. Now, if they could devise a little
computer that you could voice activate while you walked....actually,
mental activation would be even better, 'cause you get out of breath when
you're exercising (though I've ben told that means you're working too
hard). In any case, when they finally get around to plugging our brains
directly into the net with a mobile connection, I'm there.
Off to class...
1:10 - okay, had lunch, wrote the first Sizzle story. It ran kind of
long, and it probably has a bit more characterization than they need, but
oh well. :-) One more to go.
Otherwise, life is good. Haven't had time to cook since this weekend
(cooked a *lot* this weekend) -- which is a bit frustrating. May cook
tonight -- may also go dancing. Trying to schedule it now -- we'll see
what happens.
I sorta volunteered again. I should have my head examined. But it looks
like in a while, misc.writing may split up a bit, and if so, they'll need
some help. Again, wait and see sort of thing.
I have so many things 'in progress' right now -- it's frustrating. I'm
very much a task-oriented person, and I like finishing tasks -- checking
them off and feeling satisfied when they're done. This sort of vagueness
-- just irritating. A little of it's my own fault, but a lot of it is
being dependent on others. Why doesn't everyone check their e-mail hourly
like I do, huh? :-)
As if I respond that promptly. :-)
Still, life is going moderately well. Had a late start to my day -- my
roommate's parents are visiting and they took us out to brunch, which was
very nice of them. But I promised the Sizzle people that I'd get them
that story today, and I'm just not sure it'll get done. May have to defer
to tomorrow, but NO LATER. If I haven't finished it by tomorrow, you must
all yell at me. Understood? :-)
Okay, back to work. Have a good day, everyone.
2:30 -- poem for class
BURDEN TOO LONG CARRIED
It is never cold here, I remember. Ache rests
A sunny room in the west tower; weaving
I remember when my mother sent me to him.
He beat it from me quickly. Silent --
My skin has dried and wrinkled in his house,
And now the man is dead. And it would be
It would be so easy.
*****
Doing my taxes today, and had some very good news. I include the text
below, in case any of you happen to be writers -- I recently posted this
to misc.writing.
This year, I get a $1100 refund. This is why:
a) I'm filing as a self-employed writer
What I deducted:
a) general supplies (paper, pens, stamps, envelopes, etc.)
To do all this, I filled out a 1040 (not A or B, since I took the $4000
standard deduction rather than itemizing separate non-writing deductions),
and a Schedule C (Profit or Loss from Business). If you had a profit, you
might be able to fill out a C-EZ instead -- very quick, but keep in mind
that you must also fill out a SE - self-employment tax form. Also fairly
simple, and remember if you do, that 1/2 of your self-employment tax is
deductible (line 25 on the 1040). Doing my taxes took about 40 minutes,
including 15 minutes on the phone listening to their recorded messages on
educational expenses and moving expenses.
I hope all of that was clear -- if not, feel free to e-mail me about it.
I'm not a tax wiz, but I've been filing as a writer for a couple of years
now. Also keep in mind the following:
NOTE (added by a misc.writing person who corrected a mistake I had):
Your hopes of profit must be reasonable. Poets don't live off their
poems, so your claim that you intend to is suspect. But novelists
often take 4 or 5 years to finish a book, researched non-fiction can
take even longer and still be a reasonable investment of time and money
when compared with reasonably expected financial results.
The IRS publication on small business should have the current
business/hobby rules spelled out.
Someone not yet commercially published might prefer to take no
deductions until the day s/he finds a publisher for the first book, and
then go back and do amended returns for the three prior years. The
choice would be to give up possible deductions for the years in excess
of three instead of taking the time to convince an auditor that those
deductions are valid; but I have read that some authors have taken
deductions for a dozen years and survived resulting audits.
It was a good weekend, full of friends and fun (birthday party for Cliff
and Sherman Saturday night, poly meeting Sunday morning, then Star Trek),
but rather exhausting. I'm pooped. Feel like I need a weekend to recover
from my weekend. :-) But life is good, and interesting things are
happening. Dale (publisher) just sent out a ton of releases about the
book, so we'll see if that turns up anything. I found a cheap airfare to
Chicago, so it looks like I definitely *can* go, hooray. I have a lot of
work to do, but feeling fairly high energy, so we're hopeful.
On the negative side, my keyboard at home died. Argh.
I'm so tired of having computer problems. Cliff is supposed to fix my
disk drive, but until he has time, I can't even install PPP on my main
machine -- argh, I'm whining. Sorry. Never mind. I'm going to download
PPP onto disks today from campus and take it home and put it on my laptop
and see whether I can hook that up to the modem. If not, I'll only be
able to log in from campus, which would be a severe limitation on my
ability to accomplish anything.
I'd better get to work -- talk to you guys later...
M.A. Mohanraj
February 12, 1997
Hey, guys. Well, I had a pretty pleasant evening -- spent much of it
talking with Ian, my new roommate. I can't remember if I've mentioned
him before -- Ellison decided that a) he didn't want to deal with the leak
in his ceiling (even though the landlord promised to fix it) and that b)
he really dealt better with living alone. So we bid him a fond farewell,
and in moved Ian, happily enough an old friend of Sherman's who just got
out of the Navy. Neat guy -- looks like it's going to go well. Cliff
just got a new job, with a much shorter commute, so it looks like he'll be
home in the evenings as well -- it'll be nice having people to eat dinner
with during the week.
Gosh, sorry for the delay guys. Wasn't my fault, though -- had weird
server problems -- first with Mills and then with this web page.
Morning, everyone. Well, it looks like I'm probably okay on the tax
thing. It's still a little unclear whether I mark the deuction on Form
1040A or Schedule C, but that will undoubtedly come clear in time.
Hey, all. Well, I got some possibly bad news -- that the tax info I got
over the phone from the IRS may not be entirely accurate re: deducting
tuitition. I just asked on misc.taxes.moderated -- a *very* useful
newsgroup -- we'll see what they say. Nice people there.
in these bones whispering changes too subtle
for youth. Rest, they tell me. Enough.
to occupy my hands and the chatter of
girls to numb my careworn mind.
Too-dark skin and a broad flat nose,
young as these girls and full of silliness.
I watched the others take my place,
a procession I was not allowed to mind.
stretching thin as memory over fragile,
twice-broken bones and hope like dust.
so easy. To rest among girls not afraid
of chattering and say that I have done enough.
M.A. Mohanraj
February 5, 1997
Just too busy. Sorry, guys.
I'm just finishing my taxes -- this info might be helpful to you,
*especially* if you're in graduate school for writing. You can call
yourself a writer even if you made no sales last year, remember -- see
bottom note for details.
b) I worked half the year and had pay deducted for taxes, then went to
graduate school to get an MFA -- all of that pay is coming back to me.
b) books (all books I bought. yes, all of them.)
c) computer (I bought a computer in the fall -- keep in mind that
computers depreciate over time, so if you've had yours a while, that gets
complicated)
d) travel expenses to cons (I write sf/f and go to sf conventions. That's
deductible - hotel and airfare)
e) meals at cons (didn't bother, but you can deduct 1/2)
f) tuition -- this is the big one. The key characteristics of getting to
use this are: it can't be tuition needed to *maintain* your current job --
it must advance you; it can't be for a change in jobs. So if you're a
writer already, and think you can make more money by getting an M.F.A.,
then it counts as professional development and you can deduct it.
g) textbooks, if you didn't already deduct them under b
h) moving expenses -- I moved from Philly to CA to attend grad school. A
move that is at least 50 miles more than the distance you already travel
to get to work is deductible if you moved for work-related reasons, as
above. I haven't filled out this form yet (doing it today), so I'm not
sure how much of the move is deductible. I'm assuming the airfare and
shipping expenses.
You must show a profit in 3 out of 5 years, or the PRESUMPTION changes
from business to hobby. Your job, should you wish to accept it, is to
overcome that presumption. The best way, of course is to show a
profit. But there are other ways. Send out materials regularly, keep
time logs showing frequent effort, do all the things someone really
intent on making a living at that kind of work would do (whatever those
things are). Also, to prove your efforts are taking a reasonable
amount of time to show a profit, make a file of descriptions you run
across of how long it took various authors to finish and find
publishers for their books.
*yawn* Hey, everyone. Bit of a late start today -- stayed out late last
night seeing Star Wars (amazing, wonderful, magnificent, etc!) and
overslept this morning. Not so important since I don't have classes on
Mondays, but it's 10:00, and I haven't even dealt with mail yet. Oh
well.
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