NOTE: If this is your first visit to one of my pages, you might want to check out my home page first, so you have an idea where I'm coming from. The entries within each month are in reverse chronological order -- the newest is first. Enjoy! -- Mary Anne
Click here to go on to the next month.
Busy busy. More later. :-)
Okay, okay, I've been bad, I know. I really meant to get back to the entry Monday, but I was so exhausted, I just fell asleep really early. In my defense, I'd like to point out that it *is* the last week of classes, and I *do* have a major final paper due next week, and I *am* throwing a huge holiday party this Friday. So forgive me. December may be a bit sketchy.
I can't even write as much now as I'd like, 'cause I'm in the throes of finishing up the stuff I'm handing in for my Fiction class (everything I've done this semester). Due at 3, so I'd best run, but I really will try to write again later today, possibly around 5-ish. There's lots going on in my life right now, and I'd love to tell you all about it, but I'm just swamped.
Okay, I didn't get back to you yesterday, but it's only Thursday, so I'm not that behind, right? I'm having a hard time thinking right now, because for some bizarre reason I woke up at 5 a.m. and started writing and wrote until 10:30 (interspersed with mucking, which oddly enough helps me write), and so my brain is a little fried. Also I've started fretting about last minute things to do for the party (get cranberries and popcorn for the tree, and ribbons and boughs to decorate the house, and a tree, don't forget, and maybe some sheet music so we can sing a little 'round the piano, and it would be really cool to have some traditional holiday games, but the last time I saw that sort of thing was, I think, in one of the G.K. Chesterton Father Brown stories, so I have to go dig those out, or you guys could send me your ideas/memories, and I have no idea what's appropriate for Kwanzaa (I have Christmas and Hanukkah and Winter Solstice and the Hindu Festival of Lights stuff, but nothing for Kwanzaa, which is too bad, 'cause I wanted this to be an interdenominational holiday party :-), and I'm not sure the trifle recipe is going to work out, so I want to make it early (besides I think it's better if it sits soaking up the sherry for a day, though *please* tell me if I'm wrong), and there's the eggnog to spice and the cookie ingredients to buy and I'm sure I've forgotten something or several somethings), so I'm a little flaky right now.
But basically life is good and I'm happy, though someone should explain to me someday why it is that I can be utterly upset one moment and perfectly fine the next, and exactly how this relates to telephones, 'cause I really don't understand this phenomenon and it's causing much confusion in my life. No, I'm not going to explain that. It would take too long, and you probably know what I mean anyway.
I'm babbling. I'm babbling a lot. I hope you guys are at least amused by my babbling 'cause it would be awful if nobody got anything out of it. Heck, I'm amused, so I suppose that's enough.
I discovered something amazingly cool today -- an ambigram generator. I'm not going to try to explain -- just go play -- it's fun. 'mary anne' acutally works fairly well as an ambigram.
And okay, you may find this hard to believe, but I actually have a fan club now. That's right. And you can join if you want (what's next, a Usenet newsgroup?? :-), and receive lots of cool nifty stuff. Well, maybe some cool nifty stuff. Maybe none. Maybe just a lot of advertising blurbs. Or maybe I'll be inspired and mail you guys everything I write each week. Hundreds of pages of unpublished material delivered to your very mailbox...okay, I'm a little manic today, you can tell. It's definitely a crap shoot, but it'd be kinda nice to think that someone actually bothered to JOIN my fan club. :-) And I think Dale is a little stumped for ideas on what a fan club actually does (and the last one I joined (okay, I admit it, it was the Misty Lackey fan club, but I was in high school, okay?) was so long ago that I don't quite remember what we did other than exchange letters saying how much we liked the author, which seems a little silly in retrospect, so I don't have much of a clue either), so could probably use any ideas you wanted to shoot his way. He likes getting mail. (Dale is my publisher, in case that wasn't clear. Dale Larson, dale@iam.com, super nice guy. Feel free to write and tell him. :-) (If he starts getting flooded with mail he's going to kill me, but it might be worth it....:-)
The general pages on the book have also been expanded quite a bit, including quite a few lovely new reviews, and a detailed description of the censorship problems we faced. Interesting.
Okay, it's finals week, so I'm not going to apologize. :-)
Before I forget, here's a delightful page I wanted to share with y'all. Brian's Academiad was especially fun -- if you've ever enjoyed the torments, I mean pleasures, of a classical education, you'll appreciate this occasionally spotty but ultimately hilarious piece.
Would write more, but I have to get back to work on Sidney. Ick. Yuck. I like Sidney, but I hate this paper.
Paper due by noon Thursday. 1:45 - 3-4 vague pages. Updates as the situation develops. :-)
6:31 - 9-10 moderately solid pages. Very tempted to stop for the night, as its a 15-20 page paper, and I'm pretty sure I can knock out another 5 pages tomorrow before noon. Will be good and try to work a little longer, though. My brain tends to shut down around 7, though.
My friend Steve is taking me to a Thoth concert tomorrow night. Celtic harem music, whatever that is. Weird.
Also in the news, got a phone call from HBO's "Sex Bytes". Wants to possibly do something on my writing (cool), but more interested in discussing polyamory. I dunno. Don't think I particularly want to discuss my personal love life on national tv. Philosophy, politics, literature, okay....but that's it, I think. Some of the same reasons I didn't do the Newsweek article on bisexuality a couple of years ago.
Okay, and I know *this* is an international forum in some ways, but I feel like I'm talking to friends. And I do have complete control over what I say, and don't have an interviewer trying to slant it towards exploitative cheesy stuff. And I don't really tell you guys all about my love life...though you can probably figure out a good chunk of it if you read between the lines. :-)
Kevin comes home on the 19th. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
If you couldn't tell, I am very pleased.
Back to the damn paper.
7:31 a.m. - 12-14 pages. We progress. I still don't like this paper.
11:24 a.m. - 18 1/2 pages, 1 page of footnotes, two pages of bibliography. Done and printed. Hooray. I'm going to veg on the mucks for a while now until my brain recovers...
Sorry for the long hiatus -- been decompressing. :-) Going to go do a bit more of it by playing Warcraft, but I did want to log on briefly so I could put up the new story I wrote this morning. I really like this one -- hope you guys do too. It's called, The Masks We All Wear.
May be back later today -- dunno for sure. Hope y'all had a good weekend...
Some changes coming up in the diary. Among other things, the current diary month will now be called 'current.html', which should simplify your bookmarking. :-) Please repoint your browsers now to http://www.mamohanraj.com/current.html. Watch for more changes as they develop.
Hey, everyone! Hope the holiday season is going well for you all. I have somewhat erratic e-mail access now, as I'm at Kev's parents' house for the holidays, but will try to at least keep checking in with you. Not much exciting to report -- lots of shopping and socializing, as typical for this time of year. Gotten a few presents already -- especially cool was the one from my publisher - framed covers of my book! :-) I feel so professional...
Off to see if I can find one more present for Kev; something he mentioned he wanted but may be a bit difficult to find. I probably shouldn't even say that much here, except I'm fairly sure he isn't reading this journal at all -- no clue why. I'll be shopping for weeks -- I decided to do my shopping for everyone I'm not seeing *on* Christmas *after* Christmas -- just too chaotic otherwise.
Anyway, best stop tying up the phone line here....talk to y'all later.
I planned to write a long letter today, but the day has been busier than expected. So I'll just wish everyone a very merry Christmas -- I'm having a wonderful time, and I hope you are as well.
*hugs all 'round*
Quick note -- going up to S.F. for the day to meet Bryan and Elissa (you may remember I went to their wedding last year) for lunch. Kevin was supposed to come too, but he's not feeling well, so we're going to just swing by my house, collect some clothes I need for Tahoe and some games, and then probably just come back down to San Jose. Got a train to catch, so I must dash...
Hey, guys. Had a good day yesterday hanging with Bryan and Liss (we were going to play Cosmic Encounter, but our brains were too fried, so played Family Business instead and talked a lot.) Had dinner at Pedro's in Los Gatos -- good Mexican. (I had taken them to Axum for lunch, but it truns out that Liss doesn't like Ethiopian food -- at least not there. Odd, since I made some for her at one point and she really liked it (with the fake injera recipe). Oh well.)
Today the plan is to go shopping with Lydia -- she's going to drive me around so I can try to find a sari to wear to the New Year's ball at Greyhaven. I have a formal dress I can wear instead, but a sari would just be amusing -- Sherman's escorting me, and he'll be in formal black, so I think a white sari would look pretty cool. She's bringing the kids -- I hope they like their presents (mostly books). Kevin's got a fever, so he's staying in bed -- the poor thing always seems to get sick when he comes home. Hopefully he'll be well enough to go skiing.
Speaking of which, we go up tomorrow and I won't be back 'til the 30th. No net access in Tahoe, so you won't hear from me 'til I get back. Have a good weekend, everyone, and I'll try to talk to you again before the New Year. Now I go wait for Lydia and try to amuse myself without waking Kevin (I've been up since 6:30 and I'm just a little bored....)
It's about 4 a.m., which means that it doesn't quite feel like yesterday, nor does it really feel like today. I went to bed at 11:00, and woke up with an awful nightmare about fifteen minutes ago. Didn't want to go back to sleep, so here I am, babbling at you. Usually I'm more in control of my brain when I talk to you, but I thought maybe you'd appreciate a look at the incoherent side of me. We'll probably regret this.
Shall I tell you my dream? I was spelunking, trying to find Kevin. When I did, he told me a story about how you had to be careful when lying to your mother. He had told her he couldn't go to something (school/church/etc) and she had known he liked spelunking and called the library to find out the good spots and came and found him and realized he was lying. After he told the story, we had a talk - sometimes calm, sometimes upsetting. I think I broke up with him, but it wasn't at all clear. Then I had to get out, and Kevin said the only way out of the cave was to climb up the rope that I had climbed down. That made me very nervous, but in the dream, I had much better upper arm strength than I do in real life, and so I easily pulled myself hand over hand up the rope -- there were some hairy bits, 'cause the rope was sliding down somewhat as I pulled it, but the very end *was* attached to something, and I suppose if I'd known that I could have just stayed in the cave and pulled until it was taut, but it was a dream, and none of this really makes sense. This doesn't sound like a nightmare, does it? But I woke from that with heart pounding and a sick feeling in my stomach. Probably gas. But I'm too awake now to go back to sleep.
Luckily, I expected to wake up early, though not this early, and borrowed a movie from Kev's sister last night, just in case. So I'm going to go watch it, and after that, if I still want to, I'll consider writing a story I was thinking about as I was falling asleep last night. I only have the beginning, which I think is very strong, and I'm not sure if the characters are people enough to simply carry the rest of the story, or if I need to suss it out a bit more in my brain first. Probably the latter -- it always helps to have some clue where you're going when you write a story. I tend to get bogged down in the midddle, else -- trying to get somewhere but I know not where. My language apparently gets extra convoluted and vaguely archaic when I'm tired - apologies, my dears. It is a weak flesh we deal with, and I must rely on your compassion.
Saw Clueless (finally) last night -- off to watch Speechless now. Wonder what comes next.
6:15 - Speechless was actually pretty good. Always fun watching a movie about writers (it's focused on two political speechwriters, of opposing campaigns, who fall in love. romantic comedy with Michael Keaton and Geena Davis), and it has one of the most satisfying last lines I've heard in a while. More than one plot hole (for example, why the heck weren't they caught when the tv screens started showing Tarzan???), but an enjoyable little piece nonetheless. I think Geena Davis is charming (though somewhat similar in all her roles :-), and Michael Keaton is really quite a good actor.
What to do now? I know, I know...go write that story. But you know, you can't write a story before it's done percolating -- it just stunts its growth. (see -- two coffee metapors in one sentence -- that's how you can tell I'm a writer...) Okay, I'm just getting silly now. What I'd really like to do is take a walk -- but it's cold and wet and dark. Maybe I'll go shower, and by the time I finish, it might be light. I could really use a cup of hot chocolate (they're out). Maybe I'll make tea. Hah. I know what I'm really going to do -- eat the leftovers from Italian dinner last night for breakfast. Have I grossed you out yet? Try this one -- my absolute favorite breakfast food is pancakes with curry. Any curry would probably do, but something boneless works best with pancakes. And very very spicy. I tend to be fairly ruttish (I just made that word up -- it doesn't mean I'm in rut; it means I get into ruts -- got it? good) (I almost used 'catholic' instead of ruttish, which would be totally wrong and untrue, but for some reason, I have the hardest time remembering that that word means something very different from what I think it means when you're talking about tastes or preferences) in my tastes -- I could eat bread(-type substance) and curry for days/weeks on end. Have done so. Don't really get bored with it either -- partly because I'm cheating by using curry -- curry is such a big broad general word that covers such a variety, a plethora (I love that word) of possibilities. (Good line, huh? 'plethora of possibilities'. Go ahead and borrow it -- I give it to you freely).
Ah, it's a good thing you guys don't have me rambling at you like this all the time. This journal would be a lot longer and my reputation as a sane individual would crumble into dust. As it is, hopefully the world (gosh, I sound like an egomaniac, don't I? I have to admit -- I take a fair bit of silly pleasure in the bits (bits - what a inane way of putting it -- but crumbs is somewhat cliche, and I'm tired, so bits will stand (and you thought you'd *like* getting a look into the mind of a writer -- it's dull, dull, dull, most of the time -- lots of perfectionist fiddling with words and if you don't love words -- love the roll and pitch and yaw of them (and yes, I'm undoubtedly mishandling the seaman metaphors mightily) and don't spend way too much time just enjoying words like scintillate and obfuscate (Susan (Kev's sister) and I spent a while yesterday discussing obfuscatory -- no, really) and labyrinthine, then you probably would find it all unimaginably tedious) of fame that appear to be sticking to me (like glitter, which always falls off eventually, even on the seashell box you spent at least twenty minutes designing when you were seven) and attacking me at odd moments (I still haven't figured out exactly what one says to a fan after 'Wow, I'm really glad you actually like my work.' It's not particularly dignified, is it?)) will pass all this off as a fever dream (though sadly not of the quality of Kubla Khan. I love those lines -- "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / a stately pleasure dome decree / where Alph the sacred river ran / through caverns measureless to man / down to a sunless sea." God, that's just brilliant. Doesn't it make your heart ache -- just a little?) or lack of sleep. You can blame all sorts of things on lack of sleep.
Hey, David? I know you read this periodically, and I can't remember if I told you this already. The placement of that poem -- that really was meant to be a present, 'cause I'm a sentimental sap. A momentary wistfulness -- something to show the grandchildren. :-) Sorry it made you sad.
Oh, boy. Better go -- oh, I have a feeling I'm going to regret this journal someday. Especially if I do become famous -- it's going to haunt me. I can just see the celebrity biographies -- "Who *was* the mysterious David -- and what poem does the 12/28 journal entry refer to?" Even better would be if it showed up in an academic paper.... -- okay, okay, don't laugh. A girl can dream, can't she?
Shower time.
Click here to read the previous month's
entries.
Click here to go back to Mary
Anne's home page.