The Questing Beast: A Very Secret Diary, part 1

Day 1

People don't understand me. All they see is a creature when they look at me. A beast!

This journal is my attempt to show you, Fearless Reader, that I am not just a monster, slavering after my next meal. That I am more than just an ungodly creature who just so happens to have the head of a snake, the body of a leopard, the hindquarters of a lion, and the feet of a hart.

I mean really, is that so different from everyone else???

Day 2

Slept in today after last night's feast. Worked up a lovely appetite playing hide-and-seek with that wanker Pellinore. Got bored with him after a few hours, stole a voluptuous virgin, a handful of peppery pixies, and a sweet-tasting sprite from his land for my evening's repast.

All in all, quite a lovely day.

Day 3

Slept in after last night's big meal. Pixies gave me a touch of the vapors. Stomach sounds like forty hounds baying at the moon.

And there I was, with no one around to pull my "lucky rabbit's foot" for relief. Ah well...

Napped in the mud, bothered P for a while -- the fool is convinced he's "this close" to catching me -- and then... supper!

Note to self -- keep an eye on P's boy Percival. Boy's got a funny look about him, always going on about some holy cup or somesuch. Could be trouble in the future.

Day 4

Slept in. Napped. Bothered P. And then...Supper!

Day 5

Slept in. Napped. Bothered P. Supper!

Day 6

Slept in. Rolled over. Napped some more. Bothered P and the boys. Supper!

Day 7

Slept in. Napped. Bothered P. Supper!

Day 8:

Bloody hell! In a rut. Must go drum up some trouble down Camelot way. Entries may be spotty as I'll be traveling, as there is no place to hold journal on my hide.

Stomach still grumbling.

Note to self: Have a talk with Smaug, one world over, and see what he does about this cursed indigestion...

Questing Beast, part 2

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