The original poem was written by Gene Ziegler, and should be read at his own site, in complete form, as "A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer". There you will also find an interesting explanation of how the bastardized version below came to be. Hail the oddities of the net. - Mary Anne

If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals...

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket or a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And you data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the lable on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the buttons on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cuase as sure as I'm a poet, the suckers gonna hang.

Then the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you hafta flash your memory and you'll want to RAN your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your Mom!


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