[Got this idea from someone long time back. I can't remember the guy's name. Most of it is original. Some of it is from what other Indians have told me they would like to say.]
Being from India, I get a lot of questions about my country. Sometimes the questions do become rather exasperating.
Q> Say, do you guys have electricity in India ?
A: Of course. We generate electricity by making an elephant run around a
field by setting fire to its tail.
Q> Do you have cars in India ?
A: No. We only use cows and elephants.
Q> Do you have enough food in your country ?
A: No. But when we get hungry, we eat the cows and the elephants.
Q> With so many religions, how do you stay united ?
A: A common hatred of stupid Americans.
Q> I hear that you actually have snake charmers with poisonous snakes
roaming the cities.
A: Oh yes, I was a snake charmer once. Infact, I have one up my pants
right now.
Q> Do people have enough clothes to wear ?
A: Sure. Everybody wears exclusive Calvin Klein underwear; it keeps us
cool.
Q> Do you actually burn widows right after her husband's death?
A: Yup. We burn them whenever we want.
Q> Can women vote in India ?
A: No. We just burn them.
Q> Do you have enough fuel in India?
A: I just told you about the women, didnt I ?!!
Q> I hear you get great hash in India.
A: Yup. Directly from the CIA.
Q> Do you have "arranged" marriages in India ?
A: Of course. We do like to organize things, you know...
Q> Do you speak Hindu ?
A: Yes. I also speak Christianity, Islam and Buddhism.
Q> Are you a Hindi ?
A: Oh yes, I am also English, French and Spanish.
Q> Where is India ?
A: Follow I5. You'll get there eventually.